When you are not yourself and you desire to be

©️Tep Fai 2019



You'd put up a face around those people you know who talk behind your back. You do not want them to see you defeated.



You became the person you hate because you defend yourself. You were gentle and timid but now you stood fiercer and let them see you fight.


People would feel pushed away and you come back to being alone. And you hate on facing anything to keep the peace somehow, not knowing the war grows within you.



You'd run to the restroom before a big project. You rather wish the activity will be postponed. You do not like bigger task because when you fail, they will judge you and that is what all you think about.



You made an honest mistake and you felt misunderstood. You were corrected but you feel discouraged. You lay awake crying blaming yourself repeating what you should have done. You just cant forgive yourself.


Be yourself, they say, but which? Are you still that weak compromising being? Or have you truly transform to somebody strong that you struggle with?


Relax,


1. Do the right thing no matter what. - Do not fear people. You know you fear and love God. 


2. It is not your job to please them, sweetheart!


- You do bad things theyd talk. You do good things, they ignore. So what’s the point of always reading their minds and manipulate your actions? Life is short, baby!



3. Cry, it’s okay. Yeah, it feels human too. Cry one time big time and stop there.



4. Forgive yourself. Yes, a big part of the haunting pain is the fact that you hate yourself for what other things made you think.



6. You know you can ask God to heal your heart and to forgive. - The best out there that I can tell you. Nobody can teach your heart (you tried in the past, were you able to?) but the One who created it. Iluhod mo lang yan sa Lord ^_^


©️Tep Fai 2020  www.stepinme.tumblr.com